HoneyBadger
Poster Child
HoneyBadger don't give a shit.
Posts: 373
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Post by HoneyBadger on May 20, 2011 10:40:25 GMT -5
As most of you probably know, The Rapture is tomorrow (or October 21st or perhaps December 21st). Anyone who is planning to go may feel free to drop off nice cars (with a completed registration), new (HD) TV's and any excess cash at my house tonight or tomorrow morning. I'll also accept pets as long as you leave plenty of money so that I can feed them. Litter and litter boxes for cats will be greatly appreciated. Oh, yes, if you own your home free and clear I'll be happy to accept your property transfer to me. I have a couple of brothers who would be pleased to move to a nice home of their own. It is my understanding that The Rapture will be later in the day so I'll accept donations up until about noon. After that I will be at the nursing home visiting my mother. Obviously, people like me won't be going so I figure that I'll take whatever I can get before the good people go...wherever they're going. I sincerely hope that "what" from Toxic goes because I'm really tired of her voyeurism in regard to me. It's icky. At any rate, for those of you who are leaving tomorrow - so long, safe trip, enjoy the other side, etc, etc, etc.
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Post by rienzi on May 20, 2011 12:30:39 GMT -5
The amount of being that will be plucked from the earth will be so small, we won't notice. Unfortunately, I don't think there will be much available. However, if people notice who has been raptured and freak, well, then, we have a chance to loot
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Post by nilegrazowski on May 20, 2011 13:42:25 GMT -5
If you folks don't see me after tomorrow you'll know where I went. I don't mean under the bar at GO either!
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HoneyBadger
Poster Child
HoneyBadger don't give a shit.
Posts: 373
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Post by HoneyBadger on May 20, 2011 13:58:55 GMT -5
The amount of being that will be plucked from the earth will be so small, we won't notice. Unfortunately, I don't think there will be much available. However, if people notice who has been raptured and freak, well, then, we have a chance to loot I am extremely disappointed to hear that so few will be going. I was hoping for riches and more room on good old Mother Earth. I doubt that I'll be able to loot in my neighborhood.
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HoneyBadger
Poster Child
HoneyBadger don't give a shit.
Posts: 373
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Post by HoneyBadger on May 20, 2011 13:59:23 GMT -5
If you folks don't see me after tomorrow you'll know where I went. I don't mean under the bar at GO either! I may be under the table at GO tomorrow night.
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Post by Fire Marshal Bill on May 20, 2011 14:52:33 GMT -5
The amount of being that will be plucked from the earth will be so small, we won't notice. Unfortunately, I don't think there will be much available. However, if people notice who has been raptured and freak, well, then, we have a chance to loot I am extremely disappointed to hear that so few will be going. I was hoping for riches and more room on good old Mother Earth. I doubt that I'll be able to loot in my neighborhood. I understand there will be some property on the Fairfield Road
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Post by lifesaver on May 20, 2011 14:55:40 GMT -5
Wherever I end up I know I'll be in good company. I think all of you will be right beside me.
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dspitz17325
Need to Get a Life!
I came to chew bubblegum and kick some ass and i am all out of bubblegum .
Posts: 543
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Post by dspitz17325 on May 20, 2011 22:00:20 GMT -5
I dont think there will be a rapture because there is no beer in heaven .
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Post by redlock on May 20, 2011 22:25:57 GMT -5
Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
-Ben Franklin
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Post by orrtannaoracle on May 21, 2011 5:46:14 GMT -5
I actually forgot about this yesterday afternoon. Why did I waste my time mowing the lawn yesterday evening? Who the hell cares what it looks like after 6PM tonight? What a stupid I am. But if you want to lend me a hot Beemer convertible for an afternoon spin through Michaux just before we all go draino, drop me a note. FT - thanks for the return phone call. No more news is presumably good news or at least status quo, yes? Coffee tomorrow AM? - you've got my number? Or we could try Westside Diner. No time is too early for this apnea patient. Wait a minute. There will be no tomorrow for breakfast. Call me just in case The Rapture is a no-show.
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MattC
Poster Child
Add 5643 to the number below
Posts: 312
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Post by MattC on May 21, 2011 11:00:54 GMT -5
I am extremely disappointed to hear that so few will be going. I was hoping for riches and more room on good old Mother Earth. I doubt that I'll be able to loot in my neighborhood. I understand there will be some property on the Fairfield Road oh no. they're staying. God doesn't want to be told how to run Heaven so, he'll leave them here.
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Post by nilegrazowski on May 21, 2011 14:08:45 GMT -5
In two more hours I'll just be a pile of clothes.
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Post by nilegrazowski on May 21, 2011 15:50:53 GMT -5
I feel like I am starting to float....... Too many Coronas while painting perhaps or.......
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Post by lifesaver on May 21, 2011 18:12:43 GMT -5
Anybody else out there? Anybody? ??
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Post by nilegrazowski on May 21, 2011 19:11:15 GMT -5
Has anyone seen my husband?
He took his clothes off in his recliner and now I don't know where he is. He left 1/2 a beer so he can't be far.
Mrs. Grazowski
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Post by Fire Marshal Bill on May 21, 2011 19:20:51 GMT -5
I had one heck of a time finding a computer here, but the internet is fast. I think you all are going to enjoy it when you get here.
Nile good news and bad news for you.
Good news is they do have some wonderful golf courses here.
The bad news is, you are scheduled for a foursome next Friday.
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HoneyBadger
Poster Child
HoneyBadger don't give a shit.
Posts: 373
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Post by HoneyBadger on May 21, 2011 21:58:54 GMT -5
I've been at GO with four special friends and we are still safe and sound. Sorry for you folks who have been waiting around.
Nile left a half a beer - he'll be back. He cheated on me a few weeks ago so he'd better stay in hiding.
Lifesaver - I hope that you've found someone you know by now.
FBM - I knew that you would make it. I'm sorry my dear friend but I won't be joining you.
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HoneyBadger
Poster Child
HoneyBadger don't give a shit.
Posts: 373
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Post by HoneyBadger on May 21, 2011 22:09:41 GMT -5
I actually forgot about this yesterday afternoon. Why did I waste my time mowing the lawn yesterday evening? Who the hell cares what it looks like after 6PM tonight? What a stupid I am. But if you want to lend me a hot Beemer convertible for an afternoon spin through Michaux just before we all go draino, drop me a note. FT - thanks for the return phone call. No more news is presumably good news or at least status quo, yes? Coffee tomorrow AM? - you've got my number? Or we could try Westside Diner. No time is too early for this apnea patient. Wait a minute. There will be no tomorrow for breakfast. Call me just in case The Rapture is a no-show. OO, sorry, I just arrived at home a few minutes ago. I visited my mother twice and then met friends at GO for a belated birthday celebration. Without a doubt I'll be sleeping in a bit longer than you would prefer tomorrow morning. The news about my mother is that she was transferred from the Gettysburg Hospital to the Lutheran Home yesterday. The surgery went well but over all she received four units of blood. She is in a great deal of pain and is a bit testy. She has 20 days to recover before we have to consider alternatives but I believe that she'll do well once pt begins. She survived the surgery which was my biggest concern. After that it's all gravy. I have my mama for a while longer and I am elated. Perhaps we can meet for coffee another time. I'd enjoy going to the Westside Diner. I'll call you soon. Or, you call me. I'll be visiting Mom tomorrow and I'm meeting friends for dinner tomorrow night but I'll be around. By the way, my friend, I've passed my sleepless night phase, thank goodness. No sleep apnea. But I have a lovely friend who you have met who is an early riser. Perhaps you'll encounter her some morning if you're out for coffee. And by the way, your wife is a very nice lady.
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Post by Venter on May 22, 2011 9:56:06 GMT -5
Oh SHIT! No Rapture, huh? You sure? Please say your kidding... because if not - I got a lotta 'splainin' to do! What am I worried about? I already live in hell. How would YOU like to be one of those guys who spent thousands and thousands of dollars placing the bulletin boards and posters all over the place? NOW don't they feel like dicks? Can you imagine going into work on Monday?... . . . . . ESPECIALLY if you are the only one left - since ALL your co-workers were swept up in the Rapture, and you were actually left behind to perish in squalor! ;D
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Post by Venter on May 22, 2011 10:03:22 GMT -5
The amount of being that will be plucked from the earth will be so small, we won't notice. Unfortunately, I don't think there will be much available. However, if people notice who has been raptured and freak, well, then, we have a chance to loot Ummm... What if you loot a house, and the couple just HAPPENED to leave on a quick vacation get-away without letting neighbors know? What if they're just at a Cher Concert?
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Post by Fire Marshal Bill on May 24, 2011 6:24:54 GMT -5
New Date, October 21 2011
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Post by orrtannaoracle on May 24, 2011 11:14:37 GMT -5
Can you believe those idiots who were giving away their goods because they wouldn't need them after 6 PM on Saturday? Religious charlatans are truly a scourge on mankind - the stuff that people fall for is amazing. Then again, if they are that stupid maybe they should have been raptured and removed from society.
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dspitz17325
Need to Get a Life!
I came to chew bubblegum and kick some ass and i am all out of bubblegum .
Posts: 543
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Post by dspitz17325 on May 24, 2011 20:22:18 GMT -5
When the arrogant Christians feel they are smarter than their GOD than they become GOD and have no need for such things , than they will become just like Jim Jones . Oh by the way Jim is dead and in HELL and he believed himself to be GOD .1st Thessalonians 5 verse 2 For you know very well that the day of the Lords return will come UNEXPECTEDLY, like a thief in the night .And we wonder when ever people talk religion no one wants to listen guys like this are why .
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dspitz17325
Need to Get a Life!
I came to chew bubblegum and kick some ass and i am all out of bubblegum .
Posts: 543
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Post by dspitz17325 on May 29, 2011 19:13:19 GMT -5
gotta love this Attachments:
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HoneyBadger
Poster Child
HoneyBadger don't give a shit.
Posts: 373
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Post by HoneyBadger on May 29, 2011 20:16:25 GMT -5
Somebody needs to get their vehicle to the body shop for a new paint job.
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