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Post by Venter on Dec 22, 2010 16:53:41 GMT -5
· What is "Lighter Fluid" lighter than?
· Why is it called "Baby Food" when there's no babies in it?
· In the grocery aisle marked "Mexican" why can't you buy Mexicans there?
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Post by izneers on Dec 22, 2010 21:26:25 GMT -5
If people from Poland are Poles, why aren't people from Holland Holes?
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Post by Venter on Dec 23, 2010 10:37:38 GMT -5
· Why does an Alarm go "OFF" when it's really going ON?
· We don't really dig a "Hole", we dig the ground to MAKE a hole.
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Post by orrtannaoracle on Dec 23, 2010 16:21:32 GMT -5
Is it true that people from Belgium are known as brussels sprouts? Yes, it's from Monty Python. In one of the Addams Family movies, a girl scout approaches Wednesday and Pugsley's lemonade stand and offers them a trade - she'll buy some lemonade if it was made from from real lemons and if they will buy some of her girl scout cookies. Wednesday asks if the cookies are made from real girl scouts.
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Post by ohbeserious on Dec 23, 2010 16:55:08 GMT -5
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
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Post by lifesaver on Dec 23, 2010 16:59:26 GMT -5
What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about?
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Post by rayhinch on Dec 24, 2010 5:09:33 GMT -5
Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
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Post by Fire Marshal Bill on Dec 24, 2010 7:34:36 GMT -5
Coconut oil comes from coconuts. Corn oil comes from corn. Olive oil comes from olives. Now where does baby oil come from?
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Post by getysbg on Dec 26, 2010 19:41:29 GMT -5
There is a significant amount of cabin fever running rampant in Adams County. It's either that or you all are smoking that funny stuff again!
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dspitz17325
Need to Get a Life!
I came to chew bubblegum and kick some ass and i am all out of bubblegum .
Posts: 543
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Post by dspitz17325 on Dec 26, 2010 21:25:31 GMT -5
Would an Orange still be called an orange if it were purple ?
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dspitz17325
Need to Get a Life!
I came to chew bubblegum and kick some ass and i am all out of bubblegum .
Posts: 543
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Post by dspitz17325 on Dec 26, 2010 21:29:35 GMT -5
· What is "Lighter Fluid" lighter than? · Why is it called "Baby Food" when there's no babies in it? · In the grocery aisle marked "Mexican" why can't you buy Mexicans there? Well its a Fedral law that Mexicans can only be bought at a Home Depot parking lot .
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Post by lifesaver on Dec 26, 2010 22:03:57 GMT -5
If Santa answered his mail honestly: Deer Santa, I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I'v ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Friend, Billy
Dear Billy, Nice spelling. Your're on your way to a career in lawncare. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I'm giving your brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell. Santa
Dear Santa, I've been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love Sarah
Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you didn't they?
Dear Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our house? Love, Markey
Dear Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Markey", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window. Sweet dreams, Santa
Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy
Dear Teddy, Look you're dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It' time to give up that dream. Let me send you some Legos instead. Love, Santa
Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love Susan
Dear Susan, Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of Scotch instead. Santa
Merry Christmas everyone!!!
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Post by Venter on Dec 27, 2010 17:39:34 GMT -5
What's in a name?
Santa - rearranged = Satan
Good and Evil = O'God (of God) and D'evil (of evil)
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dspitz17325
Need to Get a Life!
I came to chew bubblegum and kick some ass and i am all out of bubblegum .
Posts: 543
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Post by dspitz17325 on Dec 27, 2010 22:59:48 GMT -5
OK if somebody wakes up one morning and decides to start a religion Christians will call it a cult ,but isn't that how Christianity got started .
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Post by djturnz on Dec 28, 2010 12:01:53 GMT -5
An optamist says the glass is half full, the pesimists says the glass is half empty. I say the glass is too big, what does that make me?
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Post by Fire Marshal Bill on Dec 28, 2010 12:33:43 GMT -5
An optamist says the glass is half full, the pesimists says the glass is half empty. I say the glass is too big, what does that make me? I have an answer, but it would probably be deleted anyway so I will keep it to myself.
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Post by djturnz on Dec 29, 2010 7:36:04 GMT -5
Well thats no fun.
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HoneyBadger
Poster Child
HoneyBadger don't give a shit.
Posts: 373
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Post by HoneyBadger on Dec 29, 2010 8:39:08 GMT -5
Bill always has fine answers. I'm sorry he didn't impart his words of wisdom this time.
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Post by rock on Dec 29, 2010 9:17:02 GMT -5
An optamist says the glass is half full, the pesimists says the glass is half empty. I say the glass is too big, what does that make me? thirsty!!!!! ;D
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dspitz17325
Need to Get a Life!
I came to chew bubblegum and kick some ass and i am all out of bubblegum .
Posts: 543
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Post by dspitz17325 on Dec 29, 2010 10:39:17 GMT -5
An optamist says the glass is half full, the pesimists says the glass is half empty. I say the glass is too big, what does that make me? thirsty!!!!! ;D I am a realist when the glass gets like that it's time for Anne to pour me another pint.
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Post by Fire Marshal Bill on Dec 31, 2010 7:54:29 GMT -5
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea.... does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?
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Post by Fire Marshal Bill on Jan 3, 2011 10:20:58 GMT -5
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
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